Attack of the Fe-Blobs

You’ve seen the ads in women’s magazines. They feature a cartoon that purports to tell "one woman’s story"* about overcoming depression by using Zoloft. Instead of using an actual human spokesperson, the drug company has opted to use a sad, little, semi-animated blob to push their antidepressants — an every blob, as I like to think of it. Or, more accurately, of her, because, invariably, our little blob represents a woman.

As the cartoon tale tells it, she is a fe-blob with a fabulous job who just can’t seem to feel any enthusiasm for work anymore. One day, in her sterile office, while burning the midnight oil — probably for no additional pay — she decides to take advantage of the high-speed, internet connection at work to research depression on the web. She discovers that her doctor, someone who likely has absolutely no training in psychology, is somehow qualified to give her a prescription for Zoloft. So, she goes to the doctor, who tells her how great these pills are, how the side effects are no big deal, and how everyone else is already taking them. That’s enough for her.

Within the course of a single panel's worth of personal and 0chemical transformation, fe-blob is again smiling and standing in front of a pie chart, talking about how she has resumed loving her work. In the final panel she asks the rhetorical question: “How could I possibly enjoy my career if I didn’t manage my depression?”

Maybe she should be asking herself how much happiness she expects to get from her job as a corporate fe-blob. Is she really clinically depressed, or does she just have a headache from bumping up against the glass ceiling every time she tries for a promotion? Maybe she’s just suppressing a lot of anger over still being paid at least 25% less than a man in her position. It’s hard to know. But one thing is certain; anyone who takes medication based on information they get from a cartoon does need some professional help.

*Which they admit, later in the cartoon (in miniscule type) is a make-believe person.