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Politics are the hot ticket in California this summer, and the national press has been having a great time reporting on the recall of California Governor, Gray Davis. Many of the adjectives being used to describe this surprise, political turn are the same hackneyed ones that are trotted out whenever the press is referring to some event or thing that seems quintessentially Californian. Words like kooky, wacky, crazy and circus are being bandied about as if this was some kind of lobotomizing new age movement taking the state by storm. It's true that over 140 candidates have filed to be on the ballot. It is also true that they include a purveyor of pornography, a former Mr. Universe turned action star, a self-promoting Hollywood icon, a sassy pundit, a couple of office-holding Democrats and a vast array of lap dancers, bar maids, and other unknowns. It is much like Cecil B. de Mille's legendary "cast of thousands", all who claim to be ready for their close-ups. Yet this is no Hollywood production or new cult, and to treat it as such is to create, and support, the notion that this election is not to be taken seriously.

It is very serious business who ends up running the fifth largest economy in the world. It is serious also, that this recall was spearheaded by one wealthy Republican, Daryl Issa, who seemingly wanted to subvert the electoral system to get himself elected, but has since chickened out. Hey, we have term limits here. If we didn't like Gray Davis, and it's true that almost no one in California did, then we could have waited him out. For goodness sake, we just reelected the man last November. And hs hasn't been all bad. But that is past, and what looms in the very near future is an (almost) unprecedented election, where the winner will be chosen by whoever has the most votes. Period. With the diluting of votes that will occur with this quantity of candidates, anyone could win. Well, not anyone. Anyone with enough money to get his or her message Ñ or just their face Ñ out quickly can win. This certainly stacks the cards in the favor of unqualified, egotistical movie stars, but it doesn't have to be so.

There are two things that will be voted upon in this election. One is, whether or not to recall the Governor. The second is, who will replace him if he is removed. So, it is possible to vote against the recall and to choose a replacement, just in case, all on the same ballot. In an ironic way, it will be the first opportunity many voters have had to actually vote their conscience. Usually voters are forced to cast their ballot against the greater evil of the two choices and end up with someone, like Gray Davis, who seems slightly more palatable than their competitor. In this case one could vote against the rogue recall effort and still name someone they actually liked, to hedge their bets. To choose this method would retain the generally icky Gray Davis, but that's not the point.

The point is to vote against a recall being staged solely to subvert the Democratic Party, and, one could say, the democratic process. Once the recall is dispatched, then your real choice can be stated. This voting method will not only keep a system in place that works, for the most part, but it will allow the frontrunners to emerge, directly from the people, for the next regularly scheduled election. Hey, it's a sort of pretzel logic, but a better option than we usually get. Maybe this recall drive will have the unanticipated benefit of getting more people to run for governor three years hence, so that voters in 2006 are not faced with the same, old, boring chocolate or vanilla. If that happens, everyone will win. The press may say California's recall election looks like a wacky circus, but I say it's really just democracy doing power yoga.

 LUCKY GUYS

It seems that Rush Limbaugh is losing his hearing, yet will continue his broadcast — without callers, if necessary. "I've lost my ability to hear," says Rush in a loud voice, "it doesn't mean I've lost my ability to communicate." I couldn't have said it better myself. But it does seem unfair that he will no longer be able to hear his own vitriolic, right-wing, pontificating, while we still will. Rush is beginning to remind me of Ronald Reagan who, has to be the luckiest man on earth.
Here's someone who got to be a movie star, even though he was a middling actor. Then he then got to be governor of California and finally president of the US, where he would preside over the most callous, materialistic era seen during the last century. He took credit for the fall of Communism (an arguable premise), traded arms for hostages, eviscerated social service programs, ran up the largest national debt in US history and God knows what else. And now he doesn't even remember anything he did that was morally or legally unethical . See no evil, hear no evil, "I can't recall," no evil. How lucky can these guys get?

 THE TROUBLE WITH 'ARRY

I went to see the film version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on opening day. Despite the optimism of the theater chain, at 9:30 a.m. there were only about a dozen of us in attendance for this first showing — my girlfriend, myself and ten other adults. One middle-aged, portly gentleman was clutching his copy of the book to his chest. Clearly we were all J.K. Rowling fans who couldn't wait to see what Chris Columbus had wrought from her work. From the moment I saw the startlingly mundane fashion in which the opening scenes were lit, I became afraid that the magic of this story was going to be lost through pedestrian film-making. The film is true to the book in many ways. The locations, from Diagon Alley to Hogwarts school to the Griffindor common room look remarkably like their literary descriptions, kudos to the art director. But, as my girlfriend pointed out, the camera never lingers on the grandeur of the locations long enough to fill the filmgoer with wonder. Too true to the text in length, the movie ran longer than could sustain my interest. I will not bring my four-year-old niece to this one. Considering the source material and the superlative cast it was a disappointing film. One wonders what a filmmaker with real magic in his soul, like Tim Burton, could have done with this lovely material.

 FIVE THINGS

1. American Flags
I like them on the 4th of July. But I am frightened by the "love it or leave it" jingoism that they convey flapping aggressively from the windows of Arab-oil guzzling SUVs.

2. G.W. Bush
Is this guy really president? Most of the country didn't vote for him. Most of Florida didn't even vote for him. It is appalling that he is posing as the leader of this country when we are in the throes of a serious national and international crisis. He could at least learn to speak English if he's going to keep making speeches.

3. Media Debates on the future of irony in entertainment
Self-obsessed cynicism, stupid guy pranks and sitcoms based entirely on the premise that one smarty pants has the right to make the rest of the world cower, collapsed as viable entertainment long before the Twin Towers.

4. Behind the Music
After watching the hundredth rags to riches to rags biography of a band (REO Speedwagon anyone?) who invariably became drug addicted, indulged in decadent excesses and survived the consequences — in exclusive rehabs — there is no more to say on the subject. However, have you noticed the strung out look Miss Cleo has had lately? "Behind the Tarot," anyone?

5. Unemployment
Shopping without money is not pleasurable. Writing cover letters in reference to jobs you would probably loathe, but feel desperate to get, is painful. Acting carefree about all the leisure time you are supposedly enjoying when you're actually paralyzed with fear, sucks.

 Goodbye to Oscar® (and other awards)

I grew up in Los Angeles, a town obsessed with the entertainment industry. Granted, many people who live here rely on TV, music and filmmaking for their livelihoods. (I have.) But the focus on celebrities, film moguls and their awards shows, at times excludes all other topics of conversation.

At no time is this experience more pervasive than during the Academy Awards® season. It begins in January, just after the glut of Oscar® contenders have been released, through awards night in March. I have watched the Academy Awards® since I was a child. My Mother loved everything "show biz," and sitting in the living room together, watching to see who won "Best" whatever, was a beloved event. On those nights even the local news shows gave short shrift to any events other than the "after parties," at Chasen's and Spago.

By the time I was in my twenties, Oscar® night had become an excuse to throw parties and place wagers on the winners — more events in which I willingly participated. But during the last decade, either films have ceased to be relevant, as postulated in books like "Easy Rider, Raging Bull," or the wins seem too politically (e.g. box office) motivated.

Possibly, the Academy Awards® have lost the weight they once had, that of an exclusive event, now that they are only one of a deluge of televised awards shows. The SAG Awards, The People's Choice Awards, the MTV Awards, and countless others have spring up in recent years. Has it occurred to anyone that people who make millions of dollars a year to dress up and pretend to be other people have less right to constant public adulation and awards than say, childcare workers and doctors? In any case, I have decided to boycott Oscar® for the first time in my life. Maybe I just can't bear to see that mediocre drivel "A Beautiful Mind," win anything. Or it could simply be that the bitchy, envious, fawning of Joan Rivers and her daughter makes me want to vomit.

 FIVE THINGS

1. The Academy Awards
Though the academy actually gave — gasp — some of its prizes to African Americans this year, they bestowed their highest honor on a mediocre, inaccurate film biography about mean-spirited egomaniac, John Nash, played humorlessly by mean-spirited egomaniac, Russell Crowe, and directed by Richie Cunningham. Thats entertainment!

2. Mrs. David Gest
Liza Minnelli and David Gests publicist must have been working overtime to nab them the avalanche of media coverage they have received in the past few months preceding their much-celebrated nuptials. Apparently that publicist could not control the backlash of remarks from the likes of Elton John and Ruth Warrick who claim Gest is gay. I dont care how large and dazzling the diamond was, surely Liza had some lingering questions about Gests drag-queen-style waxed eyebrows?

3. The War on Terrorism
Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Korea, Columbia — the targets get more numerous by the hour. Perhaps its time for the White House spinners to come up with a new name for all the foreign contests they want to get involved in that are somehow covered under this increasingly meaningless term. Maybe David Gests publicist has some ideas.

4. Traffic in LA
Surveys have asked old people what they most regret wasting time on during their lives. The answers: worry, TV and commuting.

5. San Juan Capistrano
I arrived two days after the swallows and saw not a one. Apparently the birds are not as numerous as they once were and they dont go anywhere near the tourist traps. Just another publicity nightmare for the Catholic Church when this gets out.

 JUST AN IDEA

Maybe instilling the idea of superpowers at an early age will get a woman into the White House one of these days. I have an idea for a WB comedy about a sitting US president's irrepressibly cute twin daughters who undermine their father's administration through a series of hijinks that include leaking information about illegal activities to the press, getting publicly busted for underage drinking and navigating angst-ridden relationships with the sons of union organizers — all while eluding the Secret Service. I call it "First Family Affair."

 THOUGHTS ON WAR

If you say 'war' just once more, I'll go into the house and shut the door. I've never gotten so tired of any one word in my life as 'war,' unless it's 'secession.' ... There hasn't been any fun at any party this spring because the boys can't talk about anything else.

Scarlett O'Hara

Please join with us every morning as you awaken, and every night before sleep, in closing your eyes, seeing the planet as from outer space, embracing it tenderly and placing it in the hands of God. Pray for Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein (In the book of Matthew, Jesus says we are to pray for our enemies and bless those who curse us), as well as George Bush. Ask God's Spirit to join the peoples of the world in love and peace, removing all the barriers that obstruct the natural flow of His love.

Marianne Williamson

And all Iraqi military and civilian personnel should listen carefully to this warning. In any conflict, your fate will depend on your action. Do not destroy oil wells, a source of wealth that belongs to the Iraqi people.

George W. Bush

Government No Longer Even Bothering To Hide Halliburton Favors WASHINGTON, DC–With last week's announcement that it will award Halliburton a lucrative contract to put out Iraqi oil-well fires after the war, the U.S. government has officially stopped trying to hide its favoritism toward the Houston-based company. "When we first started cutting Halliburton sweetheart deals, we'd worry about how it would look, with Dick Cheney being their former CEO and all White House press secretary Ari Fleischer said. Somewhere along the line, though, we just kind of said, 'Ah, fuck it.' Fleischer added that Halliburton has something real juicy coming its way when the U.S. invades Iran in July 2004.

The Onion

The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.... But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the [2004] election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they've got our oil!!

Michael Moore

 AUGUST 3, 2003

I don't want to shatter any myths about myself, (particularly none that I have actively created), but I'm going to admit that I went to see "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life." There is little point in being coy about my reasons. Simply put, I just wanted to see a movie where an intelligent woman has an adventure and kicks some ass. Though I could have chosen the new "Charlie's Angels" movie — also showing at the same cineplex — I selected this one because I have a special fondness for archeology. Besides, there is only one "smart" Angel, so I wouldn't have gained anything by opting for the trio.

I suppose I imagined that the lofty nature of the study of ancient civilizations would somehow elevate this film from the video game which gave it life. I suppose I also thought that having a lead character who is British (at least in accent, as mouthed by Angelina Jolie), rather than American, would further separate the trashy Angels, from the classy Emma Peels. I was wrong on both counts. There is nothing that redeems this movie from the violent schlock that it proclaims itself to be from the first scene — where Lara Croft arrives on camera riding the quintessential white trash plaything, a Jet-Ski — through to the, "how long is this thing anyway" ending.

Another crappy Hollywood film would not even be noteworthy, if not for the fact that it contained elements that could have elevated it from the mire of other action films. First of all, it stars a woman. What is the point of breaking the action mold by casting a woman, if she's going to be portrayed with the limited emotional range of an Arnold Schwarzenegger? Second, there's the archeology aspect. Hey, shouldn't science and scholarship round out this character and make her, at least, as fond of history as she is guns?

I wanted to see a woman kick ass, and this movie provides that, I just thought it had the potential to provide a little more. It could have had actual character development. I could have had remotely plausible action sequences. It could have made me care whether or not the peripatetic protagonist saved the world from Pandora's Box. Alas, it did none of those things. A far better action film was, "Where Eagles Dare," which I watched on television the next day. That film had believable (male) characters, stunning, almost-believable action and beautiful cinematography. I guess it could have been worse. I could have paid to see "Gigli".

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