Boy, are my arms tired! The borscht belt journal of one woman's midlife crisis. Humor, essays, book reviews, astrology.

"The three cruelest words in the Engligh language
are: 'Happily Ever After.'"—Jenna Evans

COSMIC CIRCUMSTANCES

Aquarius – Alignment in Awareness
Aquarius, mid-winter in the north, strips us to our seed essence under the pressure of survival. It is a time of distillation and purification, isolating us at the center of awareness amidst the pattern of life's interrelationship.

This year it is reinforced by expansive energy (12-year-cycle Jupiter now in Aquarius), with tension between demanding practicality and wisdom in vulnerability (Saturn in Virgo opposite Uranus in Pisces, peaking February 5). The full moon on Monday, February 9 is the seed essence germination turning point for this year, awakened fertility emerging toward flowering and fruition. continued

CAT FOOD GENERATION

Cassandra Wins, Sort of If you’ve been reading Paul Krugman’s commentaries in the New York Times for the past decade, the current economic fiasco comes as no surprise. More than anyone in the so-called, mainstream media, he has been warning that the U.S. was headed for a fall. Before Lou Dobbs went through his conversion and figured out that there was a rank odor coming from Washington that likely being emitted by the rotting corpse of the middle class, and was still extolling the virtues of free-market capitalism, Krugman was warning that the end was nigh. continued

SPINSTER LIBRARIAN

Society's Child The acrid smell of self-combusting child stars permeates the annals of pop culture. The stories of those who make it big early, only to crash and burn later in life, are so ingrained in our cultural myth, that we almost take it for granted that the Tatum O’Neals and Britney Spears’ who ride the rocket to the stars before they are old enough to vote, will have to pay for their good fortune with miserable adulthoods. In the end, some youthful celebrities sink obscurely into the ashes from whence they came — and some, like Janis Ian, survive. continued

Evil Genius Nine-year-old Cadel Piggot is the anti-Harry Potter. Like Harry, he’s an orphan who has been raised by uncaring, clueless adults. Like Harry, he feels a sense of isolation and sadness because of the lack of real affection in his life. Like Harry, he is imbued with powers greater than all those in his sphere. And just like Harry, Cadel is finally freed from his dull life to study at a school that is designed to hone his special talents. However, unlike Harry Potter, Cadel Piggot does not end up in a school that teaches him to fight evil in order to save the world. On the contrary, Cadel is has been chosen for a different path. continued

Book Reviews: Soceity's Child, Evil Genius, Generation Loss, The Handmaid's Tale, God is Not Great, The Year of Magical Thinking, Not Remotely Controlled, and Fear Up Harsh.

PLUS BRIEFS: Fresh Start Promise, Super America, Dough, Campus Sexpot, Naked in the Marketplace,The Real Wealth of Nations, Why I Write and Silent Spring.

Don't Forget: Card Catalog: The Book Review Archive: A decade of book reviews. Use the search engine below to find specific titles or authors.

Two great tastes that taste great together?

DR. ZODIAC

Janitors of the Zodiac: Will the Pluto in Virgo Generation inherit the torch from the Baby Boomers in the 2008 Presidential Election?
If the January presidential primary in Iowa illustrated anything, it was that Americans are ready to entertain a changing of the generational guard. The Baby Boomer presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, who could have ushered in a new era of personal freedoms, instead presided over a 16-year period of growing corporate power, erosion of government oversight, the destruction of the social safety net and a decided shrinking of our civil rights. Not so groovy for graduates of the Summer of Love, eh? But the surprise victory in the Iowa caucuses by Senator Barack Obama, the bi-racial, Democratic Senator from Illinois, sent a message right at the electoral starting gate, that Americans are not thrilled with the rule of the Boomers. Though Obama was born in 1961, and the term Boomer is generally defined as those born during the years 1946-1964, he’s no Boomer. Because, astrologically speaking, that generation really ended in 1958. continued

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Gaydar? I Think Not

Once and for all, if you are not gay you do not have gaydar. Period. Gaydar is something only actual gay people have. It is an inborn sixth sense that allows their eyes to meet across a crowded room in silent acknowledgement of their shared aberrant proclivities. If you are not gay, you do not need this sense, therefore it was not provided by whichever imaginary God you think hands out this stuff.

Just because you have the sensitivity or insight to figure out that the guy at your office who dresses well and never mentions the gender of his dates is probably homosexual, doesn’t mean you have gaydar. It just means you might be relatively sensitive, or that you watch the Logo network too much.

In recent years, heterosexuals have begun acting like all their special rights were being trampled and infringed upon. First Disneyland gave queers their own night to get down with Mickey. Then the military, more of less, allowed the homos to serve. (What choice did they have, someone has to fight those preemptive wars?) Then queers started reproducing like they wanted to populate their own planet. And, most recently, the gays have been insisting they have the right to legal marriage.

So, it’s natural that straight folks would like to have a share in something gay people claim as a birthright, since many of them feel they’ve had to share so much they thought was theirs alone. But those things heterosexuals are desperately trying to secure for themselves are just basic, human rights. Yes folks, they’re not special, they are the very same unalienable rights for which the founding fathers left England and fought a war.

Heterosexuals are not being asked to give up anything to the gays. In fact, they shouldn’t be affected by any of these long-deserved changes in the slightest, unless they’re peeved that they suddenly have to buy the china and ice cream makers at the non-gender specific Macy’s registry that gays have been buying for them for millennia.

So, please stop bragging to your friends about your incredible gaydar. Gaydar is not a right, it is not a frame of mind, and it is not something you can learn from "Will and Grace." It is one of the few tools with which gays and lesbians have been provided that allows them survive and find companionship in a world that is largely hostile to their happiness.

And, if for some reason you really do have gaydar, you probably need to come out of the closet.